Spoiler Talk – Shepherds of Lost Things

One year ago today I released Shepherds of Lost Things. So today, I wanted to do a deeper spoiler filled write up about everything that went into making the book. But first, a little background on how the trilogy of Cate and her adventures with the Shepherds came to be.

SPOILER WARNING. DO NOT PROCEED IF YOU HAVE NOT READ THE BOOK.

It all started on a dark and stormy night in 2016 at a coffee shop in downtown Portland. Okay, maybe it wasn’t stormy, but it was dark. I was there because my girlfriend, now wife, needed to work late. I brought my Chromebook with me and started typing up a scene for a story idea I had been kicking around for months.

“What if there was a show like Law & Order but the cops know who did it from the first moments because they have a snitch who knows everything happening in town?”

It would be an investigation type story, but in reverse, showing all the challenges that would still exist even if you knew who did it from the first page. If this sounds totally different than the book you read, yeah, it was very different.

*I make covers first when starting a new project. They serve as a visual vibe check and help guide my writing.*

There was only one supernatural element originally, John. He was going to have the ability to look backwards through time by meditating. His body jumping, super human strength & speed, and knowledge of the arcane came much later in the drafting process.

Not that the drafting process included what I wrote that night. When I switched from Android to iPhone, and moved my digital stuff from Google Docs to iCloud… yup… lost almost everything thanks to some poorly executed backing up of files. So I restarted the book from mostly scratch, which is when I realized the flow was all wrong for a mystery.

This is when I bought a pack of colored note cards and started writing down key plot points. One color for introducing a character, another for action, investigation, ect. This is when a lot changed about the characters you now know and love. What changed? Well…

Wendy Bataille

The years have not been kind to Wendy, she’s 63 and still pushing herself every day. A black woman in the police force. Detective first grade. Her knees have given up on her. Her husband died years ago. Her department wants her to retire. She’s still got the best snitch network in town though, so they can’t really. She did bad things with the FBI after 9/11. Lots to answer her maker for. This is her last case and she wants to make it right.

Original character notes

She was always planned as an homage to my mother. In that lost draft she was the first character introduced, and everything from the make/model and color of the Buick to her bad knees was directly inspired by mom. Yet, when I started plotting out the book on note cards I started to ask myself why Wendy was even in the book. She seemed to exist only to hand off the case to John and Cate. It was the plot point of the crooked FBI Agents that saved her. Later the theme of everyone having a part to play in a story, even if it’s where they exit the adventure, came into place.

Originally, she didn’t appear after arresting Curt Branson. However, the real world demonstrations and riots that followed George Floyd’s death showed me that trying to arrest one man in the middle of a riot would be chaotic. And if that man is the one featured in the video that sparked the riot? Well, even less likely to happen quietly.

This led me to having Wendy come inside the museum, which lead me to having Rakshasa take her body. The sacrifice and final words weren’t in the original outline. They all got added in organically as I was working on the chapter.

Also not in the outline? The ending of the book as you read it. Rakshasa coming back around and stabbing Cate in the hospital garden was a last minute, literally it was added after test readers had given feedback, add into the book. As I was typing it up, I realized that it would be doubly impactful for the person stabbing Cate to be Wendy’s possessed body. This worked great for tying the start of Fragile Creatures into the ending of Lost Things. Because when you start the second book and see Wendy leaning against the rock, you know that the Park Ranger Tim is in deep trouble.

The Bronze Cuff Bracelet

I’m getting ahead of myself, Wendy’s other important role in the book is finding the weathered cuff bracelet with the Shepherd’s symbol. The bracelet allowed me to introduce the enigmatic group to readers, give Wendy a reason for bailing on the investigation, and get Cate mixed up with John Alex.

The book went by the title “Forgotten Things,” until very late in the writing process when I realized the cuff bracelet is never forgotten. It’s just lost multiple times. As for the bracelet itself, how magical or cursed it was never clear to me while writing the book. In fact, that it had any power at all other than the Shepherd’s symbol repelling body invasion by Rakshasa wasn’t in the book at all until I started outlining the sequel.

As I started playing with the bracelet causing Cate to hear the sound of children whispering, I gave it a formal backstory. This led to the magical abilities, which coincidentally lined up to how whenever she wore it no injury came to her. This tied into how I ended the book, again last minute change, where she puts it back on and feels slightly better. Which ties into how she survives to be in the next book.

*This cover served me through the test reader process as it really fit the vibe I was going for in those early drafts.*

John Alex

The most average looking young white guy you could imagine. The kind that barely leaves an impression. However he seems to know everything and anticipate everything he doesn’t know. Fast reflexes. Strong. Snark filled mouth. Angry at injustices. He carries more secrets than most would ever guess at… he can leap into other bodies. Given name of John Chabwick.

Original character notes

The serial killer Rakshasa being his brother was always a twist I planned on throwing out there near the end of the story, but I’m not sure it really works. There’s not enough teasing of it, and the explanation of how John didn’t know it was his brother is weak. It needed more build up. The challenge was trying to plant enough concerns about John, without blowing up the early vibes between him and Cate. Him being more than just John, and John being a shell just like Rakshasa’s victims were shells, was always meant to just be a hint. I played around with his final appearance in the hospital as a woman walking away a lot. I wanted it to be fuzzy to Cate and open to debate amongst readers.

Rakshasa

Never says a word. Raspy breaths are the only way you know when he’s inhabiting a body. Searching for something. Killing shepherd families until he gets it. Wants to bring someone back John Alex tells Cate.

Original character notes

Early sketches, and the notecards, had their name as Rupert. That changed as I started writing the book. Their twitchy face came in when I needed a way for Cate to be paranoid about a body jumping serial killer, but not without a way to confirm she was safe in the room. Their motivations could have been clearer, and I wish that the original planned outline that had more crime scenes had stayed in now. Because I think more crime scenes with weird stories attached, ie why did this person run towards the killer not away, would have better cranked the tension up.

Catalina Davidson

First generation Latina graduate of college. Newly minted FBI agent dispensed to the city. Assigned to the Sandman murders with her older partner who died last week in a weird car crash. (Her partner had been taken over by Rupert who wanted to see what the FBI had on the case.) Just trying to keep her head above water as everyone tries to take the case away from her. Too junior to have a serial killer case they say. But she’s street smart and strong willed.

Original character notes

If you’ve zoomed in on the note cards you’ll have already deduced that her original name was Rebecca. This is my default female lead name, and probably would have stuck, if I hadn’t written The Heart of Lightspeed first. She was in every draft, but her involvement once included being at the park in the morning with her partner, Henry. They would be examining the crime scene. However, the pacing felt all wrong, with him dying suddenly after being possessed by Rakshasa. (Yes, in the early drafts it was to be made clear that he was possessed by Rakshasa who wanted to know how close the FBI was to finding them). It was too many elements too quickly. So I dropped it. This led to introducing her parents into the story because there needed to be a reason a rookie FBI Agent was pulled into the case at the hotel.

Things Cut Before Writing Even Began

I had an idea for a story beat where John assaulted the FBI Building to rescue the illegally detained Iranian woman from the hotel. The drama would include him doing his best not to kill anyone, but he’d come face to face with a racist FBI Agent and shoot him in the knees to end his career. He’d use non lethal rounds and a big gas launcher. He’d leave by way of parachute while Cate squirreled away the Iranian woman. Later when FBI Director comes to arrest him, he’d be in a diner surrounded by people wronged by that same man. On the diner wall a TV would show that the FBI Director was wanted in connection with crimes that included shooting an unarmed man. It got too big, too convoluted, and too wrong for the book. Of everything from this story beat, the only thing that survived was Paul the racist FBI Agent.
Any serious romance between Cate and John. Their journey was always meant to be a slow burn. It was always my plan to see them come together in the second book. So a steamier end to their night out drinking was cut almost as soon as it hit the note card.
Originally the FBI Director shot someone in public early on in the book and his cronies helped him cover it up, but the actual scene never fit anywhere. The shootout at the black site became the replacement explanation for the riot that happens at the end of the book. However, this did mean that the riot kind of comes out of nowhere, where originally there was a building tension in the book as people started to share the video of the shooting over multiple chapters.
Originally the victims of Rakshasa were stacking up before the book opens. There was going to be an unknown killer running around Chicago, and there was a whole angle about how because the victims were illegal immigrants that no one in power cared. But, I couldn’t figure out what the explanation was for Rakshasa killing random people. They had a clear reason for every other victim in the book once it’s explained they’re seeking the clay tablets. So this got cut.

Things Changed After Test Readers Finished

There was a much longer scene at Cate’s apartment with the lost delivery man. Originally she came out of her apartment to find the man dead in the hallway, surrounded by concerned residents. Readers would know it was Rakshasa’s latest victim, but the scene was slow and kept you from getting to the corner bodega. It also didn’t do much for Cate because she doesn’t understand what’s happening. In hindsight, I think maybe I should have fiddled with it some more because it did add drama and highlight just how easily Rakshasa can get to you.
The original ending had Cate calling a number on her phone, the reader unsure who, and just before the call connects there would be a twig snapping behind her. It was meant to be dramatic, but mostly it just felt incomplete. So I added her being stabbed, it felt very slasher movie-esq, which I liked. Everything else, Wendy’s body being possessed by Rakshasa to do the stabbing, the voices speaking about the dark, was all added at almost the last minute before the book was published.
An extended riff about blood soaked hotel carpeting making a ridiculous “squish squish” sound when you walked on them. My wife thought it was tonally wrong, and despite my early protests that it provided some levity, it got cut. Because she was right, it was tonally wrong for the chapter.
The Ilayetmas family crime scene and the events related changed multiple times. Originally there were two victims in the attic. One dead man and a scared little girl. The man was going to be an illegal immigrant who’d cut his own throat rather than let Rakshasa possess him, and the little girl was his daughter. But it made for a really complicated setup because the Ilayetmas already had a son & daughter-in-law and two grandkids living in the house. An illegal immigrant also residing there was originally a tie into the killings by Rakshasa that were being ignored by law enforcement, but with that part already cut this other immigrant felt out of place. So he and his daughter were cut, and replaced with the elderly Ilayetmas.

Things That Bother Me and I’d Change

The jump from Cate going back to the FBI Building and the riot breaking out is too short. Going right along with this issue is that the book jumps from the riot to the museum too quickly as well. I should have included a couple of chapters that showed Rakshasa learning about the last clay tablets, the FBI Director’s shooting video being leaked, and the city erupting into a full blown riot.
Having now written a romance themed book, Vampire Detective Agency dropping on October 13th you should check it out, I would include more romance between John and Cate if I was writing the book today.